Say It
by Hartabound
Summary: Marie and Logan finally have an honest conversation, but it's too late...their time has run out.


_A/N: Wrote this after being reduced to a blubbering mess by Gwynje haunting Whiskey Lullaby over at the fantastic WRFA. If you read that story be ready to have lots and lots of tissues, I ended up being depressed enough to write this piece, dark, angsty, bitter and fucked-up, not a lot unlike me._

_Songs that I was listening to are at the end, Nickelback and the always excellent Muse._

_Marie and Logan finally have an honest conversation…but it's too late, their time has run out._

* * *

** Say it**

This was why he'd pushed her away, kept her at a distance, because he knew, knew that if he let her closer, if he let her in they'd heal each other, build each other up only to end up tearing each other to bits.

Ripping each other apart piece by piece, draining the life out of each other, killing it, murdering it because that was what they were… killers, monsters created for a singular purpose, to kill, to serve, and eventually just to die.

And he could see it, somehow he could see it before it happened, but he couldn't stop it, couldn't stop it sucking both of them in, burying them, bringing forth the hell that was their lives, the demons that crucified them day after day.

He looked over to her, huddled in the corner her head pushed back against the wall, arms bent at awkward angles, bleeding…bleeding from so many wounds, so many cuts, she seemed to be drowning in a sea of red. And with that look he knew, she wasn't healing, she was dying. Her mutation wasn't kicking in; her powers all but gone she was broken and battered in too many places to be saved now.

He'd killed her.

* * *

She looked over at him, lying flat out on his back in that opposite corner, he was healing, slowly, but he was healing all the same. He'd survive, she wouldn't, and he'd killed her. Truth was he'd killed her a long time ago. 

It was him, it was always going to be him, the first one she'd wanted to touch after the cure, the first one she wanted to kiss, the first and only one she'd ever loved. But he pulled away, for the longest time he'd pulled away. Ironic really, he's never been afraid to touch her, the only one who hadn't been afraid to touch her when her skin was deadly poison, but after, after she'd sought a cure and found it, he'd shrunk away from her, flinched when she'd gotten too close, been afraid, turned and walked away whenever he saw her walk in his direction.

And she'd seen it in his eyes, the way he'd insisted on letting everyone know he was suffering, in mourning for killing Jean, the woman he wanted everyone to know he'd loved. But she knew, she saw, saw what everyone else couldn't, heard it screaming out to her what everyone else was deaf to, Marie… you, it was always going to be you Marie.

And she saw the way he buried it, as a disease, a filthy unclean thing, deserving to die, a love that had to be buried deep, deep underground.

And because of that she grew ashamed.

* * *

He saw it, saw it in her eyes when everyone else ignored it, and saw the way she died a little inside every time. The look, the fear, the shame hidden deep beneath those large brown eyes, the cure had healed everything except all that was really broken inside, couldn't take away all the nightmares, the horrors of lives, pain and suffering not her own. 

He saw it, the way she was wasting away, a little every time, the way her hands shook as she held a fork, the little she ate, the way she shunned her food. Saw her fading away, knew the little she slept, saw it all but did nothing.

And because of that he grew ashamed.

* * *

When they came for her a second time, he had been gone for over three months. It was a desperate call from Storm that had brought him back, and he'd seen what she'd done and what they'd done to her. 

The academy had been reduced to a pile of rubble, bricks and mortar, nothing more. The cure had been anything but, it was a ticking time-bomb they'd planted in her brain, triggered in a few minutes, and resulting in more than one life being destroyed in less.

The first one she'd killed was Bobby, simply drained him as he'd slept next to her, bled him dry. She'd then gone on a rampage, destroying dorm after dorm, powers before unknown and unseen, demons they'd planted in her, horrors they'd taught her to inflict coming to the fore.

And when she'd done they'd simply switched her off, leaving her helpless, leaving her to contemplate the devastation, the monster she'd become. And she saw, looked around and saw the hell she'd created.

* * *

He'd come to the old labs, knew instinctively where they were, even buried under shafts of ice, hidden far underground he'd known. He'd broken through, torn the place into a million pieces, they'd already abandoned the place. Left an empty lab and vaulted room, and he'd known, even as he'd stood outside the heavy steel doors, he knew she was there. 

Waiting for him, waiting for him to kill her. She'd put up one hell of a fight, couldn't help it, all in the way she'd been programmed. Kill and die. Not a single compunction for those she loved, not a shred of guilt or sanity, kill or be killed.

So long she'd screamed for him, so long he'd turned a deaf ear, hating…hating the fact that she needed him. Hated the fact that he needed her, so long afraid to touch because everything in his life had fallen apart from the moment he touched it, from the moment he recognised it.

So he'd pushed her away, pushed it away those feelings that sought to rectify, sought to salvage the bits of him he'd deliberately scattered to a thousand pieces, scattered to a bitter wind. Consumed himself with guilt and rage because those feelings he understood, those fit in with what he was, a monster.

And now looking into those brown eyes, vacant of the light, he saw…saw the hell he'd created.

* * *

She'd haunt him, she knew she would, the way she was smiling at him now, she'd haunt him. But she didn't care, he hadn't let her in any other way, but she'd slowly kill him now. As she lay here bleeding he'd watch, and it would slowly kill him…, time for the truth Logan. 

She watched as he crawled over to her, slowly, painfully grimacing as he went. He came and dragged himself up to sit beside her. The action exhausted him and he breathed heavily as leant back against the wall.

She looked at him for along time, the insanity exorcised, the sense of a long preferred ending returning. She chuckled lightly, though it pained every bone in her body to do so.

'Who….w-would have thought it…huh Logan, the first time y-you touch me…it's to save ma life…the second time it's to kill m-me.' She struggled to speak, a fine trickle of blood pouring from the corner of her mouth as she did so.

'Marie…' he looked at her, such a fragile thing still in so many ways, but aged still, an old warrior, a bruised and battered mind, falling to pieces in a body broken yet further. So many holes, so many cuts, so many bruises in which to lose the soul, in which to let it all bleed out. Poisoned skin, poisoned blood, and broken heart.

She smiled at him, 'was ah worth it Logan?' She didn't need to say anymore, he knew what she meant, was I worth saving, worth almost dying for, worth being pulled apart for?

He nodded, and bitter tears stung at his eyes, tears that refused to fall, afraid even now to show he was human. Tears that couldn't break through, couldn't release a soul so long tormented that he ached; so even as he healed he ached.

'I shouldn't have to say it Marie, you should know, you do know, you're worth it every damn time.'

She shook her head at him, 'No…, y-you do have to say it, n-now when it's too… damn late, say it, 'cause our time has run out Logan…' the cuts from her head bled into her eyes, and made it look as if she was crying blood, he wouldn't be surprised if she was.

He closed his eyes and drew a haggard breath, let it go Logan, she's right the time is gone. 'It was for you Marie, all of it, not her, not them…but for you, always for you.'

She sighed deeply, 'Do you know…h-how long ah…waited for that…how long.' She stilled and didn't move for the longest while and he thought she was gone.

And he knew then, knew what it was like to lose…to lose everything in a breath, the last breath he believed her to have to taken, to have that knife twist in your gut, to have that fire burn away the last of your sanity, to fall…fall helplessly away.

His head slumped forward and he cried at last, bitter tears, damned tears, tears pulled from the depth of despair…broken, bruised, and much too late tears. Say it…say it at last…

His desperate howl as Wolverine mourned along side him reverberated around the room, shattered the silence and pierced every last shard of ice surrounding them.

And then he heard her take a deep gasp, she was holding on, barely but enough to open her eyes and call out.

Her lapse into unconsciousness had brought forward the demons, she looked around and all she saw was the hell she'd created, the broken labs, the razed academy, broken bodies, broken Bobby, and she screamed…screamed and screamed.

Every last strength was poured into those sounds of desolation as she remembered, what she'd become, and what she'd done. The demons haunted her still, her body shuddered with every memory, with every bitter, every haunted look.

He used all his strength to pull her on top of him, and soothed her, say it…say it at last…I'm nothing…nothing without you Marie.

'Let it go…' he whispered, he passed a tired hand through her hair, and she looked up at him, 'let them go…' all of them, release them from the cage they'd long trapped you in, set them loose and just breathe, let your soul breathe. Reach through the bars that held you in, Marie reach out and touch me, 'cause I'm here, too late I know, our time has run out, but I'm here.

'Say it Marie…' he whispered and she knew, even as she found it hard to see through the haze, she knew what he was saying, but she shook her head.

'Say it for me Marie…' and she saw the tears that rolled down his cheek, mingling with her own, and she nodded at last. And she said, 'Come with me…am I worth it…, come with m-me?'

Come with me, let it all go, leave it all behind, too long I've waited, too long and now time has run out. But don't let me fade away on my own, don't let me go. Follow me, follow me to the end.

'You're worth it Marie, you're always worth it.'

Taking her broken hands he pressed them against the bare flesh where his suit had torn and urged her to concentrate. 'Ah'm terrified of bein' without you Marie…so take me with you.'

And she did, even as he plunged the claws into her chest, she used the last of her strength the last of her mutation to bleed him into her, to take in the last of him, say it…say it at last…

When the rest of the X-Men found them they thought it too much of a sacrilege to part them, to bury them in separate plots, instead they fired a five gun salute from the Blackbird that saw them buried together under the ice for eternity.

'Say it…say it at last…'

* * *

_**"Savin' Me" -**_** Nickelback**_**  
**_

_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Chorus:  
Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me_

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Chorus_

_Hurry I'm fallin'_

_All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh, I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_

_Chorus_

_Hurry I'm fallin'_

_**"Time Is Running Out" -**_**Muse**_**  
**_

_I think I'm drowning  
Asphyxiated  
I wanna break this spell  
That you've created_

_You're something beautiful  
A contradiction  
I wanna play the game  
I want the friction_

_You will be the death of me  
You will be the death of me_

_Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running out  
Our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out_

_I wanted freedom  
Bound and restricted  
I tried to give you up  
But I'm addicted_

_Now that you know I'm trapped since ovulation  
You'd never dream of  
Breaking this fixation_

_You will squeeze the life out of me_

_Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running out  
Our time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out  
How did it come to this?  
Ooooohh_

_You will suck the life out of me_

_Bury it  
I won't let you bury it  
I won't let you smother it  
I won't let you murder it_

_Our time is running outOur time is running out  
You can't push it underground  
You can't stop it screaming out  
How did it come to this?  
Ooooohh _


End file.
